Hayden Kho Overcoming Depression and Suicide Thoughts

Years ago, celebrity surgeon Dr. Hayden Kho struggled with depression and attempted to commit suicide twice. He is smart, popular. Money and women were easy but it was never enough.

Hayden grew up in a Christian home, memorized scriptures, and joined worship ministry. Moving into med-school, friends influenced him with drugs. He became addicted to it, and things went wayward from there.

These friends also convinced him God is not real. He believed the lie because he wanted God not to be real – free to do what he wants, the “good stuff,” of course.

He questioned God

Sexually molested when he was young, Hayden questioned God. “If you are a loving God, how can you allow this to happen? Why didn’t you do anything?” He carried this deep wound and created an image that wasn’t him.

Creating a fake image of himself

Hayden is tall, smart, a good-looking athlete and school heartthrob. He branded himself humble but hid what deep inside was pride. He had a growing fan base even before joining showbiz. But then it hit him, no one knows the “real me,” nobody cares, and he fell into depression.


He had fun with friends, but alone in his room, he felt miserable at the end of the day. “I am still alone – loved but unloved, known but unseen.” Life was superficial; killing himself was a convenient exit.

Depressed ka ba friend?

How Hayden Kho overcame depression

Visiting a school in India, he took a photo of a young girl using his P1.2 Million camera. Focusing on the subject, he cried, “What am I doing, taking a picture of this poor child. If I sell this camera, I can feed this whole school with it“- his perspective changed immediately.

Hayden began finding ways to help them. “I forgot myself because I was focused on people who are less fortunate and realized I should be grateful,” he said.

Dr. Kho with mentor Ravi Zacharias and wife Vicki Belo. (PHOTO via Hayden’s Facebook account)

God designed us to serve others

When Hayden began helping other people, his emotional wellbeing fell into a natural and healthy response. It’s how God designed us – to love others. When we live contrary to God’s design, we become unhappy.

For example, if Hayden used his camera underwater, it will be damaged even if it’s expensive because it’s not waterproof. To maximize his gadget’s potential, he needs to ask the designer how best he can use it.

Apostle Paul faced depression, he did this.

When we live contrary to God’s design, we become unhappy.

Wrong theology affects our perspective of God

Most of us don’t ask God, our designer, on how we can maximize joy in our life. According to Hayden’s mentor, Peter Tan-Chi, if you have wrong theology and wrong thinking, it’s going to affect your perspective of God.

Choosing your friends

Hayden chose to be with people who love God. He decided in his mind to repent and read Christian books, listened to christian music, and turned to God’s words. What mattered to him was Jesus knows him; he felt real joy.

Are you disconnected?

The Bible says that suicide thoughts are from the devil – he puts it in your mind, and you think it’s your thoughts. You become depressed and hopeless – that is never from God. He allows brokenness to be humble us. Hope is alive when you believe and receive Jesus.

Philippians 4:8
…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

Dr. Hayden Kho Jr. shares his way out of suicide thoughts.
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