Becket Cook: Being gay was my identity

The story of Becket Cook: Why he turned his back on a fabulous gay life

Becket Cook lived a fabulous Hollywood life. He was a night owl who knew almost everyone in the industry. It was fun—it was “the” life. Then he decided to leave it all behind just like that. “I can’t do this forever,” he said.

When I identified as gay, I thought it was immutable; it is who I am, and I was happy with it. But when you meet Christ, everything changes. When your identity is in Christ, everything is more joyful, amazing, and secure,he said.

All of Becket’s relationships were conditional. He walked on eggshells, fearing his boyfriend would either leave him or cheat on him. “But in Christ, you don’t worry about these things because He will never leave or forsake you,” he said.

I can’t do this forever.

As a trendy gay man in Hollywood’s elite celebrity world, he worked with stars and supermodels like Natalie Portman and Claudia Schiffer. He designed photo sets for Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar and rubbed elbows with celebrities like Drew Barrymore.

When he was younger, Becket got accepted to law school but changed his mind and moved to L.A. to pursue acting and writing. He met friends who today “run Hollywood.” He was living the gay life.


Embracing the wrong identity

As a young boy, Becket kept his gay feelings at bay until he met a friend. Together, they discovered gay life. Naturally, he liked it! Soon, he came out and embraced his sexuality—without borders. He traveled well and even lived in Europe while he dated foreigners.

Growing up as a Catholic didn’t matter to him. “The older I got, homosexuality became my identity. Christians were the enemy. I’m not going to think about God or even consider God. That’s off the table,” he said.


Intelligentsia incident

In 2009, Becket and his friends were having coffee in L.A.’s Silver Lake neighborhood: The Intelligentsia. He noticed a group of young people who had open Bibles on top at another table. It was rather queer.

Becket was not in the least interested in Bibles—he knew what it would say about homosexuality. But his friend pushed him to stir a conversion. He asked, “Are you guys like Christians? What’s the deal?”

Cook then asked the $64 question, “What does your church think about being gay?” “We believe it’s a sin,” one of the guys said. “Whoa. OK…interesting,” Becket said. Of course, he knew that already.

Is that all there is?

Six months earlier, in Paris

Becket was at a fashion party in Paris. Amid the fun, that question beset those whose identity is defined by money, fame, and success. “Is that all there is?”

He had a career in Hollywood, met A-listers, and attended the most glamorous parties. Yet there was emptiness. He’s been ignoring that ‘nudge’ all his life—but turning to God was not an option.

God is not an option.

Online church service at Reality L.A. Click HERE to watch.

Becket could no longer pretend he didn’t need God

After that small chat at Intelligentsia Coffee, they invited him to church. The following Sunday, he found himself driving to Reality Church of Los Angeles, a bit perplexed.

Before long, he found himself grappling with the reality that God alone had the answer to his questions. He could no longer turn his back and pretend everything was fine.

For a long time, Becket’s sexual identity as a gay man defined him. After hearing the Gospel of Jesus, Becket believed in one true Christ who gave him a new identity that no longer hinged on men’s approval but on grace from God.

Becket Cook’s miracle

Before becoming a Christ follower, Becket didn’t realize God had always been after him. In 1992, her mother, Monica, learned he was gay, without a doubt. Becket was in Japan at that time.

Naturally, as a religious woman, she was distraught, knowing his son was not only a homosexual but a lost sinner. Becket getting AIDS was frequently in her mind, but all she could do was pray for her son.

Around 1997, Becket moved in with his boyfriend and was soon confronted with the news of his partner’s HIV-positive status. Astonishingly, Becket tested negative, leaving him grateful for not getting it but at the same time in a state of disbelief at what’s going to happen to the love of his life.

Over time, the relationship eventually faltered, leading Becket to transition from casual flings to more intimate partnerships that brought him happiness but never made him feel complete.

In 2023, Becket discovered his mom’s letter, “Letter to Becket.” His mom’s prayers were filled with love, hope, and faith that one day, God would make a miracle. Although he lost her in 2016, she lived to hear God’s many miracles in her son’s life.



Our past does not define us

Becket Cook’s world was full of sin. The issue was not that he had a same-sex attraction but what he chose to do with it. Today, Becket let go of the past and embraced a Christian life.

His past no longer defines him but who he is in Christ.

Was becoming a Christian worth it?

A few years ago, one of Becket’s long-time friends, Tom, was hospitalized. He visited and prayed for him nearly daily until Tom’s boyfriend saw and read his Christian testimony in Focus in the Family. Afterward, he was banned from seeing Tom. Becket was accused of working against the LGBTQ community and attempting to convert Tom to Christianity.

It’s not easy for Becket to continue losing some of his friends who refuse God. Today, Becket has more friends than ever. Friends who pray for him and love him unconditionally. His new relationship with God through Christ gave him his true worth. “It gives me such peace,” he said.

Philippians 3:8
“I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”

Becket’s world was full of sin.

Becket Cook is the author of A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption.

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