HIV: A blind man who can see

Living with HIV: Testimony of Alan Belleca

Alan grew up with an absentee father and a broken family. He was sexually abused at age six by someone he trusted at home, and by a neighbor at age nine. His aunt also had a relationship with a lesbian and he thought all these were part of a normal culture that fueled his homosexual tendency.

Feeling abandoned by his family, a deep-seated hatred drove him to be independent so he can move out for good. Alan also kept his homosexual struggle to himself and acted out his gay lifestyle after college.

He had his first boyfriend at the age of 27 and perhaps being a late bloomer, his suppressed sexual desire resulted in having sex with multiple partners. His promiscuity would eventually result in a bitter turn.

→ Transgender testimony of Mark Estephen who gave up love for Jesus

Fake happiness

Alan is smart and knew that studying well was his advantage. Doing things on his own, he became a scholar and graduated as Chemical Engineer with flying colors. He landed a good paying job but mostly spent his money on leisure. He splurged on things and people that will satisfy his flesh.

In 2012, he got a job offer abroad, it was a promising career. However, during a routine health exam, he failed the test for HIV and lost the job opportunity. Depressed, he didn’t know who to turn to. He sought counseling but everything was a blur.

Still sexually active, he didn’t realize that all this time, he was infecting other people he had sex with, including his boyfriend who in turn infected his boyfriend’s girlfriend.

Sin consequences: the HIV side effects

He hid the shame and confusion. After a year of denial, symptoms of HIV like mouth sores, extreme fatigue, and drastic weight loss began to show.

He was hospitalized and was finally able to take the proper symptomatic treatment to help delay the virus from becoming AIDS. He recovered and was able to go back to work for a while. That same year, his vision began to deteriorate.

Alan took the ARV medication at a late stage. The HIV (virus) did not progress to the deadly AIDS but with a weak immune system, his eye nerve was damaged. His vision deteriorated and he had to resign from his job.

→ The prodigal son of Binondo

Never give up

He was invited several times to attend a Christian service but refused. The bitter struggle inside was deep. He felt God too abandoned him. His friend never gave up and after several tries, Alan reluctantly gave in and attended a service at CCF St. Francis.

Alan could not understand why he was immediately attracted to the preaching and found himself coming back to CCF Sunday after Sunday. He lived almost 70 miles away, yet he was willing to travel from Batangas to Ortigas Center every week.

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glc graduate
Allan Belleca, graduating in a Christian leadership course in 2018, Global Leadership Center, CCF, Ortigas Center.

Be Holy

God began to speak to Alan through the preaching. When he heard the verse 1 Peter 1:16 “Be Holy because God is Holy,” it struck him like a hot rod. He realized that moment that all he did in his life was to seek his greater pleasure, at the expense of living a life that is unholy and not pleasing to the God who created him.

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We are God’s creation and living a promiscuous life, regardless if you are gay, straight, bisexual, or deep in pornography, have consequences. Allan realized life is borrowed, and his body is God’s temple.

A blind who can see the truth

Alan is technically blind. Despite his disability, God’s love has allowed him to see His faithfulness and forgiveness.

In 2015, Alan gave a testimony in front of thousands of people. After standing for his faith, his lust to have sex with another man disappeared. His promiscuous life was replaced with spending daily Quiet Time with the Lord and listening to christian music.

Alan looks forward to having his eyesight restored, in his glorious body, when Jesus returns.

→ The seven promises of Jesus to those who believe

christian gay support
Alan considers his Christian support group as his new family, whose brotherhood is in Christ. Here, he is neither judged or condemned but loved with all his imperfections and failures.

Helps is available: If you are struggling as I did, never give up. “Jesus never gave up on me and He will also not give up on you. Money, car, house, and people cannot give you love, only Jesus can save you,” says Alan Belleca.

Alan joined an informal group who shares similar struggles. The group headed by DZ Pacuno is helping transform the lives of those with sexual identity or others stricken with HIV/AIDS.

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