Men Kissing Men in the Bible: Biblical Meaning, Not Gay Relationship
In the ancient Near East—and still today in many Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cultures—a kiss between men was not erotic but a sign of covenant loyalty, reconciliation, or farewell. It was never a gay relationship, and the Bible reflects this same practice.
How the Tradition Was Understood
- Ancient Israel (1000 BC): A kiss symbolized alliance, loyalty, and affection between brothers in faith.
- Rabbinic Judaism (AD 200–500): Midrash and Talmud never sexualized the friendship of David and Jonathan.
- Early Church Fathers (AD 200–500): Augustine and Chrysostom praised Jonathan as a model of loyal friendship.
- Medieval Commentators (1000–1500): Jewish voices, such as Rashi, and Christian scholastics interpreted the bond as a noble covenantal loyalty.
- Reformation (1500s): Calvin and the Reformers emphasized David and Jonathan as examples of covenant friendship, never romance.
Examples of “Kissing Men” in the Bible
- Jacob and Esau (Genesis 33:4): After years apart, Esau embraced and kissed Jacob in reconciliation.
- Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 45:15): Joseph kissed his brothers when revealing his identity, marking forgiveness and reunion.
- Moses and Aaron (Exodus 4:27): They met in the wilderness and kissed as a sign of brotherly affection.
- Samuel and Saul (1 Samuel 10:1): Samuel kissed Saul when anointing him king, symbolizing covenant blessing.
- David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 20:41): Jonathan kissed David as part of their covenant of loyalty and brotherhood.
- Early Church (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 1 Thessalonians 5:26): Paul urged believers to “greet one another with a holy kiss,” a cultural sign of fellowship and unity.
In short, “kissing men” in the Bible signified kinship, reconciliation, covenant, or blessing—not romance. The same custom is found in Jewish and Greco-Roman traditions and continues today in Mediterranean, Arab, and Eastern European cultures as a gesture of brotherhood, respect, and loyalty.
The Story of David and Jonathan
Covenant love for a brother-in-law
LGBTQ advocates often cite David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:41, where Jonathan kissed David, as proof of a same-sex relationship. Yet the kiss signified covenant loyalty, brotherly affection, and devotion. David was engaged to Jonathan’s sister, making him a future brother-in-law, and Jonathan recognized David as vital to Israel’s future under God—binding their friendship in covenantal love.
Devotion that exceeds that of a wife
When David said Jonathan’s love was “more wonderful than the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26), it was neither erotic nor romantic. David contrasted Jonathan’s covenant loyalty with the cultural role of a wife because in the ancient world, marriage centered on lineage, duty, and alliances. Jonathan’s devotion surpassed what was expected of a wife by demonstrating the following:
- He surrendered his royal claim, willingly giving the throne to David (1 Samuel 23:17).
- He risked his life against his own father, Saul, to defend David (1 Samuel 20:30–34).
- He reaffirmed their covenant before God, anchoring their friendship in divine purpose (1 Samuel 20:16–17).
- He gave David his robe, armor, sword, bow, and belt—symbols of his status as crown prince (1 Samuel 18:3–4).
- He sacrificed his position for David—an extraordinary act from a prince to a commoner.
Modern Progressive Reinterpretation
In the 1970s, following the sexual revolution and the gay liberation movement, a new reading emerged. In 1978, Tom Horner’s Jonathan Loved David became the first work to argue for a homosexual interpretation, later taken up by queer theologians and activists.
Only in modern times has the relationship been reframed through the lens of sexuality. Before the late 20th century, no rabbi, church father, medieval theologian, or Reformer ever claimed David and Jonathan were lovers.
The bottom line: For centuries, men kissing men in the Bible was understood as cultural or fraternal. The idea that it signals homosexuality or gay relationships is a modern projection, born only in the late 20th century and unknown in ancient cultures.
