The testimony of Darwin Chong
Who has been watching THE WALKING DEAD? Literally, I felt like a dead man trying to live a normal life like everyone else. I’d say that depression is an understatement to describe what I have gone through over the past few years of my life.
Pride kept me going
I was raised in a Chinese family and grew up with unforgiveness towards my father. I lived life the way I wanted it to be. I had a lot of friends; I had my work. I was living a life where I was the God of myself.
The rebellion took over my life in the form of drug addiction, prostitution, and the gay lifestyle. I reached a point in my life when I knew that I could do everything on my own. My pride kept me going, but deep inside was a growing bitterness and hatred in the family.
Yes, I pray to God, but it’s totally different when you have a relationship with HIM. Yes, I knew HIM, but I do not do what pleases HIM.
→ Blind because of HIV, he can now see the truth
Consequences of our free moral choices
We are free to choose whatever we want, but we are not free from the consequences of the decisions we make. I received the worst news that I never wanted to hear; it paralyzed me as I thought of the things I have done in HIS sight.
And I quote Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall.”
HIV Positive: The fear of dying
When I tested positive for HIV, my world stopped. I was overwhelmed with Fear, Fear of dying, as well as trying to convince myself that it was all a dream. I was on my knees, asking for another chance for HIM to make a miracle out of my situation.
I said to myself I would do everything that I would change, but asking for forgiveness and forgiving those who have wronged me was not that easy.
And I quote James 4:6 “God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.”
→ How Apostle Paul overcame depression.
Disgrace in the family
I shared about my sickness to my family. My father told me that it would be better for me to end my life to avoid SHAME and disgrace in our family. My mom also started introducing me as her nephew.
Hearing all these from my parents made my situation even more difficult. I could not describe how this kind of rejection filled my heart. Condemnation took over me. How can I even start forgiving myself and others, after hearing these hurtful words from my own parents?
→ Growing heresy of transgender gay pastors.
I lost everything
I lost my friends, my work, shelter, I lost everything, but I had to start from somewhere, I had to forgive.
And I quote Mark 11:26 “But if you do not forgive, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is an act of obedience. Having faith that God will change your heart. Time does not heal; Jesus does. The moment I started to forgive was the start of my freedom, freedom from shame, condemnation, regrets, and rejection.
→ Transgender gave up everything for Jesus
Jesus, my healer
Yes, physical healing is important, but what keeps me going is the healing I had received when I started accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
People are focused on medicines, trying to get healed physically, but what more can you ask for when your soul was purchased by the blood of Jesus who died for you saving you from the pits of hell.
My daily life isn’t easy, but I cling on to God’s promises, and I quote in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.
My daily life isn’t easy, but I cling on to God’s promises.
HIV is not a gay disease
What happened to me is not a punishment or curse as a result of being attracted to the same sex. The virus was a consequence of the wrong and sinful choices I made. God in His mercy used my brokenness to receive what HE has been offering me all those years; a life of peace amid the storm, salvation, and becoming a child of God.
There have been many medicines prescribed for me to take, but nothing can be compared to the spiritual healing that I have received through Jesus.
I will boast in the hope I have
I understand that not many people could speak boldly about their sickness. And if it is just me, I never have imagined myself speaking in front of many people sharing how broken I was, but how can you contain the joy, peace, and forgiveness that God has given that I do not deserve.
Hence, I will boast all the more and encourage those who are going through the same sickness and share the hope that I have in Jesus.
And I quote Ephesians 2 “God, who is rich in mercy made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Today, I am serving the Lord as a certified HIV Counselor as well as continuing my walkthrough attending Christian services, bible reading, and bible studies. Joining a small Christian group is also essential to make you feel that you are not alone in your Christian walk.
Through a support group, we receive prayers and encouragement. My hope is that all hospitals would allow people like me to share the Gospel with those who are sick. They too need Jesus.