Can a Christian date an unbeliever?

The Bible doesn’t talk about dating in biblical times, but it gives a very clear “no” answer to having a relationship with a non-believer. To understand “dating” through the Biblical lens, these three questions can guide us into understanding the mechanics of dating, Christian or non-Christian.

Q1. What is your purpose in dating this person?

Dating should not only be about getting to know the other person or looking for a romantic connection. When you start dating someone, you are opening yourself up to someone with the possibility of getting hurt or hurting someone. The heart is deceitful above all things, who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).

Move towards marriage
A dating relationship should be entered into with the intent to move towards marriage. Otherwise, you are just playing, wasting time, and allowing yourself to be tempted to a sexual relationship. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

→ Biblical qualities of an ideal boyfriend or girlfriend

Q2. Are we spiritually compatible?

There are four areas of compatibility in a dating relationship that you should consider:

A. Physical compatibility – “Am I attracted to this person?”
B. Emotional compatibility – Are you both emotionally healthy to enter into a romantic relationship? (Meaning you’re not on a rebound or just lonely)
C. Communication compatibility – Is your conversation with one another meaningful and truthful, discussing things that matter most?
D. Spiritual compatibility – Christians are called to put God first in everything we do. Spiritual compatibility is non-negotiable (Proverbs 3:6). Thus, this issue should be at the topmost when deciding if you will pursue dating to the next level.

Q3. Is God Number 1 in both our lives?

This question needs to be asked regardless if you are dating a Christian or non-christian. The label of “Christian” alone does not mean its the right person. If your desire for a companion has overtaken your desire to put God first, you have fallen into a whole different kind of sin.

relationship with unbeliever

So can a Christian date a non-Christian?

Well, it’s not recommended (2 Corinthians 6:14–15). If you think you can eventually “convert” someone to become a Christian, it’s ultimately God’s work, not yours (1 Thessalonians 1:5).

Ask godly people
Do you get thumbs up from other people on who you are dating with, especially your parents or mentor? Seek wisdom, you will need it. (Proverbs 4)

“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit because you can do nothing without Me (John 15:5); “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)


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