Can a Christian date an unbeliever?
The Bible doesn’t talk about dating in biblical times, but it gives a very clear “no” answer to having a relationship with a non-believer. To understand “dating” through the Biblical lens, these three questions can guide us into understanding the mechanics of dating, Christian or non-Christian.
Q1. What is your purpose in dating this person?
Dating should not only be about getting to know the other person or looking for a romantic connection. When you start dating someone, you are opening yourself up to someone with the possibility of getting hurt or hurting someone. The heart is deceitful above all things, who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
Q2. Are we spiritually compatible?
There are four areas of compatibility in a dating relationship that you should consider:
A. Physical compatibility – “Am I attracted to this person?”
B. Emotional compatibility – Are you both emotionally healthy to enter into a romantic relationship? (Meaning you’re not on a rebound or just lonely)
C. Communication compatibility – Is your conversation with one another meaningful and truthful, discussing things that matter most?
D. Spiritual compatibility – Christians are called to put God first in everything we do. Spiritual compatibility is non-negotiable (Proverbs 3:6). Thus, this issue should be at the topmost when deciding if you will pursue dating to the next level.
Q3. Is God Number 1 in both our lives?
This question needs to be asked regardless if you are dating a Christian or non-christian. The label of “Christian” alone does not mean its the right person. If your desire for a companion has overtaken your desire to put God first, you have fallen into a whole different kind of sin.
So can a Christian date a non-Christian?
Well, it’s not recommended (2 Corinthians 6:14–15). If you think you can eventually “convert” someone to become a Christian, it’s ultimately God’s work, not yours (1 Thessalonians 1:5).