Questions to Ask Before Dating

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Questions to ask if your dating a non-Christian unbeliever

The Bible doesn’t talk about dating, but it gives an obvious “no” to having a relationship with those who do not believe in God (unbelievers). The heart of the issue is one’s intention.

Q1. What is your purpose in dating this person?

Physical and emotional attraction is important. But you should always consider a long-term relationship. This means you have to see the “wife or husband material” in this person.

If it’s not there, you are opening yourself to the possibility of being hurt or be tempted into a sexual relationship (1 Cor. 6:18-20). After a few dates, bring out your list of what it is to be God’s best, Identify them as you pray, and move along.

Q2. Are we compatible?

There are areas of compatibility in a dating relationship. If none of the following seems to work, you may be opening up yourself to potential headaches.

A. Physical compatibility – There is an attraction.
B. Emotional compatibility – Both are emotionally healthy and not on a rebound.
C. Communication compatibility – Your conversation with one another is truthful.
D. Spiritual compatibility – You share a similar faith.

→ Powerful Bible verses for sexual purity.

Q3. Is God Number 1 in both our lives?

This question needs to be asked regardless if you are dating a Christian or non-christian. The label of “Christian” alone does not mean being the right person.

If your desire for a companion has overtaken your desire to put God first, you have fallen into a whole different kind of sin. Idolatry can also mean putting something or someone else before God.

→ Some people may love you today but hate you tomorrow.

Q4. Do you have your parent’s blessings?

God promised to bless those who honor and obey their “god-fearing parents.” Remember, the heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9).

There are many things we do not see that others can. To avoid mistakes, ask godly people. Relationships that work are those where parents give their blessings. (Genesis 49:22-28)

Bottom-line, should a Christian date a non-Christian?

The simple answer is no. If you think you can eventually “convert” someone to become a Christian, it’s ultimately God’s work, not yours (1 Thessalonians 1:5). Don’t play the role of the Holy Spirit. Trust your parents and seek the counsel of godly people.

2 Corinthians 6:14–15
Do not be mismatched with unbelievers; for what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness? Or what harmony does Christ have with Belial, or what does a believer share with an unbeliever?

→ The promises of Jesus to His followers

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