Will God still love me even if I am gay and Christian?
Joselito grew up with an abusive father who was into drugs and alcohol. They were poor, and with eight siblings, life was hard. His mother ran a modest beauty salon in their house. At six years old, he was sexually abused by different men who were neighbors and relatives.
My secret Christian life
I heard the gospel at 14 through my teacher and served in a Christian fellowship. Church activities distracted my homosexual tendencies for a time.
As an adult, my hidden desire for men eventually became a gay lifestyle, one sin at a time. I met strangers from anywhere, parks, and movie houses. Gay mobile apps weren’t a thing at that time.
A double life
I served in church but would later have sex with someone. I could not help it. I taught Math, and before class begins, I shared a Bible verse to encourage students.
I thought I could mix my gay life with serving God, but there was guilt each time. Eventually, I got tired and gave up going to church and sharing God’s words – Satan won this round.
I let go, but God did not
Seven years later, my friend invited me to Christ Commission Fellowship (CCF). During that time, I became tired of dating men, searching for Mr. Right, who I thought would make me happy and complete. I felt the door has been closing in on me.
I met a Pastor in CCF, who said God can still work mightily in my rotten life if only I would surrender everything to Jesus. I joined a support group that listened to my struggles. They neither condemned or judged who I was. God never gave up on me.
→ Sin disables if you don’t know who you are in Jesus
If God loves me, why this?
I had renewed hope and active in church again. I also led a small group and felt all the love I needed in the family of God. Then I suffered from pneumonia in 2015. It quickly developed into tuberculosis.
I questioned God, if you love me, you would have stopped me from committing sin and getting the virus. I blamed God for the consequences of my sin.
I blamed God for the consequences of my sin.
God’s grace abounds
The virus kept me to the lowest point where I couldn’t even stand. My weight fell from 80 to 35 kilos, and I could barely eat. I was hospitalized for the first time in my life. I was hopeless, but I hoped in Jesus, my Savior.
The many prayers sustained me. Miraculously, I survived. Afterward, I returned to regular teaching. Today, I live one day at a time. God’s love has no limits and I trust whatever future lies ahead of me.
Do you have sexual struggle?